Temptation lurks

So today we had a birthday party at work and I baked the cake- Don't ask me why I volunteered to do this on a diet (and in the end it cost me more to bake the darn thing than if I just went out to buy one).

It was a two tiered vanilla on one and chocolate on the other decorated with pink and blue icing. I had to wake up at 6am to decorate it and I didn't even get to work out because the darn thing took so long.

Don't get me wrong, I adore helping people and doing stuff like this. I find it rewarding to bake and have people enjoy my goodies (I've been told my recipe for butter tarts is better than store bought).

Here's my issue. You can take life one of two ways.... life fast and die young, or nothing tastes as good as being thin feels. Today I felt like shit watching people eat my baked goods. It smelled delicious and looked even more so. Everyone at work was mmm'ing. My stomach turned. This is the worst temptation I have ever experienced. So I thought to myself, you only live once.

I didn't cheat. I didn't even though I wanted to so badly. I still can taste the smell of that delicious cake! There's a huge part of me that wants to bake a cake right now and sit on the couch watching repeats of vampire diaries with a fork and just eat until it hurts.

In the words of Kate Moss, "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels". Has Kate Moss never had a slice of Domino's pizza or a brownie? (probably not but still, you get my point). Food is absolutely delicious. I haven't had anything with any taste since I've started this diet. I've seen results, but I don't feel good yet because I still can't put on a pair of pants that fit me a year ago.

I'm having a bad day about this whole deal!