White Water Rafting

For all who haven't been- white water rafting is ridiculously fun!

For those who don't know- it's also an insane workout. My whole body aches today- right down to my toes.

You use your arms the most, however get your hips, back and shoulder in on the strokes. As well you are constantly moving around which gets your legs in on the action. Then you have to periodically get out of the raft and do some walking. 5 hours of rafting was like ten weeks in the gym LOL.

But again, its ridiculously fun!

I'm now down 32 pounds. During the trip, we had bought a package that included meals. Because we camped, I had no choice but to eat what they made. I still managed to stay 100% on target. For breakfast I had one slice of french toast with no syrup or butter. A quarter piece of ham for some protein and a few potatos (limited those because they are deep fried). All in all it worked out to about the same as a Jenny meal. I'm starting to recognize that regular foods can be eaten in moderation (which is the point but for a food addict its virtually impossible to get- but I'm getting there).

It's so easy to get lost in how good something tastes. Next time you have french toast, have one slice and don't put anything on it. Just taste the egg and the bread (and I believe they put cinnamin on it). It's actually delicious.

 :) I'm down to 158 pounds :)

I'm working on my whole mind

Hello all my loyal blog readers- and to anyone new to my blog.

Here is my halfway picture.

There's two reasons I hate it. The first is I still feel incredibly fat and that I don't belong in this body (despite my awesome progress)

The second thing, is I am 28 years old, and I'm self conscious about everything!

I have a club foot. It's the right one (obviously)! It's way more deformed now than it was even five years ago. I have spent all of my life being noticed for it.

When I was in elementary school kids would make fun of the brace I had to wear or the way I walked but it was never quite so bad. When I got to highschool it became incredibly obvious. In drama class I would never take off my socks for performances of greek theatre. It was usually the boys who would point out my deformity.

You would think that as an adult I would feel better about it- but it is at least once a week being brought up. I work in recruitment, so candidates will notice I walk with a limp and ask if I am okay. I'm fine, just born this way. As I got older, and fater, my foot could no longer carry my weight. I would spend hours in bed howling and crying because the pain was so intense. I also have internal Spina Bifida (which caused the club foot).

So.... For the first time in my whole life... I'm not wearing socks.

I'm ashamed at myself for asking Alicia (the photographer who took this picture) to crop it out. It was my immediate gut reaction. I just panicked at what people would say or what they would think about me. I have the most supportive boyfriend in the world who gives me foot massages when I am crying. I've never been for a pedicure in my life because I was too afraid. I've never even told a boyfriend in the past about my foot or back. Despite it being obvious to the rest of the world, I was content in hiding it. If I don't acknowledge it, then it doesn't exist.

If being on this lifestyle change journey means I have to work on my mind, then I need to work on my whole body- especially the parts I can never change. I can change the back fat that plagues me, I can change my tummy that sticks out... I can even change my flabby arms. But I can't change the way I was born.

I believe Lady Gaga said it best- I was Born this Way! Thank you Alicia for taking this beautiful picture of my WHOLE body so I can showcare how beautiful it is. Even if I don't feel like it, even if I hate it for the pain it brings me every day, it's the only one I have. Besides, Ben think's I'm beautiful.... and one day soon I'll believe it for myself too :)

The great thing about buying a size 6- even if it is from Joe Fresh :)

I've been shopping- A LOT lately!

I don't necessarily buy every time I shop.... but I am thoroughly enjoying trying clothes on I wouldn't have tried on a year ago. Oh and- there's a thrill every time I try on a smaller size--- and it actually fits.

Last week I bought a tight pair of denim shorts in a size 8... they are just slightly too tight but I didn't want to buy the next size up because what's the point, they will be too big in a few weeks.

But today--- oh yes ladies and Gentlemen (and the one person in Singapore that reads my blog- yes.... I am popular in Singapore apparently)--- I Bought a size 6. Granted it's from Joe Fresh who tends to make their sizes a little bigger than the competition, but who freaking cares? I bought a size 6. I tried on the 10 first and it was way too big. The 8 still fit too big. The 6 fit just right.

I have my ups and downs on this diet. I've written more about the ups, but that's mostly because when I am down I really don't feel like writing. The great thing about buying a size 6- even if it is from Joe Fresh- is it creates a sense of hope.

I've now lost 27 pounds. I'm past my half way point. I have a lot of working out and exercising to do that I can't do because now my knee has regressed in the worst possible way. I can't even walk the dog anymore. BUT- even if the weight loss slows down- I just bought a size 6. I think I can handle it :)

Let's all discuss how Skinny I am :)

Hello my fellow weight loss journey participants.

I'm skinny!!!

Ok not quite there yet..... but I'm almost there. I've lost 25 pounds since I started this journey. Another 25 pounds to go and I'll be at a weight I have not been at since I was a teenager.... or at least since my second year of university.

Right now I'm wearing my old jeans from my closet.... ones I bought when I started to gain weight. I'm in a size 30 in jeans and I've been buying size 8's for all my summer clothes. I bought a shirt in a size large without trying it on (by habit) only to find I was swimming in it. I returned it for a medium. When I go shopping, people in the stores assume I'm a medium (or even a small sometimes) when they go to get me a size... that hasn't happened since.... well for a very long time!

How do I feel? FREAKING fabulous! My confidence level is way up! Every time I go in my closet to try something on I never thought I would wear again- it feels amazing. I held on to all these clothes (for one because most of them are designer jeans and whatnot) thinking that I wouldn't fit in to them but they cost so much darn money that I couldn't let them go. But there was always a small part of me that wanted to get to this point. The part of me that was doing crash diets and fad workouts and secretly binge eating when I didn't acheive any weight loss fast enough. I still have half a closet full of clothes that are too small for me, and about four pairs of my favorite jeans I lent to my sister that I am DYING to fit into!

Jenny Craig is an amazing program! I really couldn't do it without Darcie. She is sooooooooooooooooo supportive.

They recently introduced some new lunch foods, that I ordered and tried. I believe my exact words when I sent an email to Ben that day were "OMG.... best frozen meal I have ever had." I'm intensely sick of eating frozen meals all day long.... BUT.... I'm at my half way point. This week, Darcie and I are going to discuss how to incorporate my own meals into the plan. I'm going to start cooking for myself meals that mirror the portions I am currently eating. It's a big challenge but I think I need to let go of the crutch that the food has become (but not all the way of course).

As for exercising- I took a week off when we had Ben's kids down here. When I went to get back to it- I discovered my knee is completely out of whack. I could barely do a full program. I need to sign myself back up for Aqua Fitness. My indoor soccer league might not run because we are missing three girls to sign up- which I am somewhat relieved about since my knee is all mad at me for some reason.

Back to Physio I go!

What's the best part about losing 25 pounds? My relationship with Ben is getting SO much better because I am becoming a more confident person. We were fighting quite a bit before- but he's working on what he needs to work on, and I had no idea how miserable a person I was until I realized how much more happy I could be with this weight loss. My emotions and my overeating were  not only dragging me down, but my relationship was coming with me. Now I just walk around saying.... LOOK AT MY BELLY... ITS ALMOST GONE! lol

If I could become a spokesperson for Jenny Craig, I would totally do it! 25 pounds and I'll be in a bikini on the beach in Cuba sipping my water (because alcohol has too many calories LOL)... and my tattoo reward is looking like it will be soon- so I need to find an amazing artist to draw my concept. Any suggestions would be amazing!

Ciao for now! I'd love to hear similar weight loss journey successes! Please post a reply :)

Details on Jenny Craig

A lot of people have been asking me for actual details on the Jenny Craig program.

Here goes my best sales pitch:

How much does it cost?
The average cost of the program is $600 to $700 a month. That's $23/day when you look at the more expensive side of the program. It gets more expensive the more frozen foods you add to your list. It can be much cheaper if you are a fan of cereals in the morning and chips as a snack. When you start adding breakfast sandwiches instead and cheesecake as a snack- the price goes up. Plus it costs $50 to join. If you are a Jenny at home customer, it also costs $65 a month in shipping, so the best bet is if there is a centre around you to go there and pick up your food and have your consultations in person. If there is no centre, this plan can be pricey- and it is also limited on where you live geographically. Your best best is to call the 1-800 number and see what plan would work best for you. I put in an extra $300 for a premium package that added a years worth of consultations instead of the six months, plus free shipping for six months. On top of that, if you lose the weight and keep is off within 5 pounds, you get the $300 back. I got a great tax return this year, so I put the money aside for my weight loss journey. I get that not everyone can afford this plan but if you can you should do it!

As well, you have to buy some foods that are outside of the Jenny Craig menu in order to meet your daily nutritional values. With breakfast you need a half a cup of fruit and a milk (either a glass of milk or one of those source yogurts with very few calories). With lunch you must have a serving of veggies and with dinner you have to have a salad. So I spend another $50 to $70 a month on veggies. Veggies are ALL YOU CAN EAT. Only problem is I have never been a big veggie eater. I can eat tomatos until the sun goes down, so I have just been making tomato salads with every meal. Breakfast fruit usually consists of strawberries. I don't drink milk, so I opt instead for the Source Dessert Style yogurts. They are only 35 calories (the max for your milk serving).

On top of those, you get three "limited free" servings.  These can include a tablespoon of salad dressing with your salad, or a tablespoon of fat free whipped cream on your strawberries. You can only have three of these a day, so be careful because with two salads that you must eat, you run out of "limited free" servings very quickly just on salad dressing. Another example is the Jenny Craig Maple Syrup that comes with the pancakes. That counts as a limited free. So when you order the pancakes, you need the syrup to give it some oomf. When you do that, you only have two limited free servings.

Salsa is unlimted. A great snack is to take one of your limited free servings and use a tablespoon of low fat sour cream and mix it with salsa. Makes for a great dip for your unlimited veggies.

How do you ween yourself off of the food?
The best thing about the program is the consultations. Your consultant will help you to ween yourself off the food. The food becomes a security blanket, and that is the stage I am at now. When I lose another 7 pounds I will be at my half way to 50 pounds point, and at that point I have no choice but to go on a halfway program where I am eating half of the meals on my own, and the other half will be Jenny Craig so the cost will be cut in half at the half way point. I'm going to pick Breakfast to do on my own, my morning protein bar I am going to switch from Jenny Craig to Cliff Bars to save some money, and I hope to start making some of my own lunches. The Jenny Craig menu is all foods we normally eat, just portioned. So it teaches you the portion control that you need for a few months while you are doing the program 100%. My stomach is at the point now where if I wanted to overeat I would be sick. I am so used to smaller portions that when I go to cook for myself, I will be cooking smaller portions. If I want a turkey burger for lunch, it will be made from scratch and put on a weight watchers bun. That's the size the Jenny Craig Turkey Burger is (only slightly bigger than a slider).

How do you Maintain the Weight Loss after you go off the program?
The whole program is about Mind/Body/Food. So you spend your first half of your goal focused on food and Body. Because your focus is on working out and eating right, your mindset automatically starts to shift. This is the hardest part. I'm working now on realizing that food never was a good reward, and it never will be a good reward. I asked Darcie (my consultant) when I could have Dairy Queen again, and her response was NEVER again. This is the hardest part. I love love love those kinds of food. But.... I also love the way my body is transforming and I can't have it both ways. This part takes the longest.

So you stop eating as much because you are portion controlled, you are working out on a daily basis and becoming more active, and your mindest is changing while you are on the program. By the time you lose 50lbs (that was my goal, yours may be more and may be less) you are ready because you have spent months working on it. By the time you can no longer order Jenny Craig because you have been successful on the program, you are a completely changed woman both inside and out!

Consultant+Jenny Craig tools+my own motivation=some good results!

So it's been another week, one where I have not lost any weight, but boy oh boy am I starting to not be able to wear my fat clothes. They are hanging off  my hips and just look like I'm going to go swimming in my pants. The downside is that I am still not able to fit into the next size down in my closet, so I'm in fat clothes limbo.

I didn't lose any weight because I have been working out like a dog! I went to one boxing class where I had a lot of one on one time with the trainer, I've been walking every day with Ben, Oscar and some weights and I've  been taking aqua fitness and other fitness classes like Butt Legs and Core (which is killer). After four days of straight working out, my knee was in so much intense pain that I needed two days off to recover.

So I'm thinking muscle weighs more than fat, so I'm not upset about my first week of not losing an actual pound (according to the scale I've lost 8 ounces- which is close to a pound but not quite there, 1/2 a pound).

On to the Jenny Craig feedback... I love love love my consultant Darcie. After getting off on the wrong foot with everyone in the call centre, Darcie has made up for it and thensome. It was fluke that my first consultation was a sales consultation because they were doing a promotion. Darcie is a nutritionist, and she really knows her stuff. She's funny, she gets where I am right now despite never having been fat, and she is empathetic. I have such a strong motivation to get this done, but Darcie helps in a huge way. She is a work out buff and I want to please her every week so I'm staying on top of everything.

Again, this diet is foolproof. I haven't cheated once because when I get hungry there is a whole variety in my freezer. I'm just super duper sick of frozen foods, but at least its good.

So tomorrow I'm off to Butt Legs and Core again to try and build up my leg muscles around my knee--- and to eventually have a wicked awesome skinny tummy ;) I'm starting to really change my mindset about working out and food. Is food really that good? No.... it's just a comfort thing. Food has always been there for me when I've been down. Well it feels way better to not have to carry around that extra 17 pounds I lost already. 33 pounds to go.

Oh and I finally have my non food based reward, thanks to my gorgeous sis in law Vicky. I'm going to get a tattoo. I've thought about it for a week and I think I'm going to get a fairy and a gargoyle. The gargoyle will symbolize the fat me, and the pretty fairy will be my homage to becoming skinny. I love the idea of a butterfly, but I already have one of those. This tattoo is gonna be HUGE--- but at least the body it will be on will be small :) 

17 pounds down- a Bazillion to go!

Howdy Folks.

I figure it's been awhile since I last posted, so here's an update on the Jenny Craig experience thus far.

First of all---- be prepared to completely break the bank! I make money in commissions so I've set that aside for my weight loss journey (it's an investment as my colleague Gaby says). If you want to do this diet- it really works but it really literally breaks the bank!

Second of all---- they claim they have a great variety- but how many of us can eat frozen foods 4-5 times a day and not go crazy? I miss a home cooked meal. When I get to my half way weight I will be allowed to eat half Jenny Craig and half my own food until I reach my goal weight. So my goal was to lose 50 lbs. 8 lbs to go before I can start eating my own foods.

Third of all---- I'm losing inches. I've lost two inches on my bust, two on my hips and half an inch on my waist. No diet I have ever done (crash diets) have ever produced these kinds of body altering results. I feel good. I've seen a 17 lb drop before (as anyone reading my whole blog can attest), however I've never seen such a gradual body transformation. I feel like by next summer I'll be in a bikini again (maybe even by late summer of this year).

I'm certain this diet is not for everyone. Aside from being insanely expensive, it's incredibly difficult to not eat the foods you love. I'm working on changing my mindset, which is the hardest thing to do. Right now I feel like I deserve an ice cream reward. I need to stop thinking of all these great foods as a reward and start using non-food based rewards but I'm having a hard time coming up with one. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated (and for those who know me, I'm not into manicures and pedicures and anything else that's a complete waste of money). The hardest part about this diet is the actual variety. Sure they have over 50 meals, but only 3 or 4 actually taste good. My next month order is basically all the same food items because I just can't do baked potatoes for lunch anymore (when my consultant was ordering my food it just wasn't working- what most people enjoy eating I don't. I'm incredibly picky).

So on a final thought for this post- don't go on Jenny Craig if you are on a strict budget or if you are a picky eater. Do go on Jenny Craig if you want to lose inches, have wanted this for a long time, but just can't seem to do it on your own. It's like a foolproof diet that does the work for you.

I've finished five weeks of Aqua Fitness, Soccer starts in July and I bought a summer pass for unlimited boxing and zumba classes. Exercise for toning is a must on this diet with rapid weight loss. I want this time to be done right because I never ever ever ever ever want to do this again. Literally nothing tastes as good as it feels to lose the weight and look great in a pair of jeans!